TRUST ME! DADDY WILL CATCH YOU

I recalled when my kids were younger about 2 – 5 years old, I enjoyed watching their reactions when I asked them to jump towards me from the countertop each time after they had brushed their teeth. I would open my arms and say, “Come on… 1-2-3 jump! Trust me, daddy will catch you!”

They were hesitant at first, but after a few times, they moved from feeling of fear to fun and thrill with lots of laughter, knowing that they could trust daddy and my intention was never to hurt them!

What is Trust?

TRUST to me is like a power that we vulnerably choose to give someone. Once given, both the giver and recipient will be in an authentic growth journey together. Booker T. Washington puts it this way “Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.”

Mistrust on the other hand will lead one to become fearful, doubtful, confused and anxious which makes it difficult for one to contribute with excellence and to build a healthy relationship with one another.

Well, the home is a good place where we learn and develop TRUST which can impact the way we offer ourselves in service to others whether in school, work or community.

So how can we build TRUST at home?

Let me share with you the 4 C’s

1. Care – Are you demonstrating care and love for the person?
   Trust is gained when we invest in love and connection, taking time to nurture the relationship with our loved ones. It is easier to put your trust and follow someone who wholeheartedly wants the best for you!
   Have you taken time to care and demonstrate your love for the person?
2. Competence – Can you do what you say you can?
   Trust is built when they believe that you’ve got what it takes whether in skills, knowledge, or attitude to do what you say you can do. I realized very quickly that’s the reason why my teen daughter prefers to go to mom for her math problems even though I offered to help.
   Comfort note: In these circumstances, not that they don’t trust you as a person but the competence in the area that they are seeking help in.
   What would be something that you say you can do but may need to work at?
3. Consistency – Will you do what you say you are going to do?
   You know you can trust that person when they are congruent with what they say and do. Our children are great observers, they will remember and rely on their experiences whether to give you the trust that we earn.
   There was a time when my child did not want to play with me even though I told her that she could win an ice-cream. I asked her why…she replied, “Daddy, you still owe me 2 ice-creams!”
   “Trust is the most expensive thing in the world, it can take years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose it.”
   What must you do to prove that your words can be trusted?
4. Communication – Are you open and transparent with your communication?
   Communication is a good gauge whether you have healthy trust amongst each other. I count it a blessing when my children especially my teen takes time to have conversation with me. To me it serves as a replacement of hugs and kisses that I used to get in the younger years. The more we communicate, the deeper the trust we have for each other.

When was the last time you had a relaxing conversation with your loved ones?

On the scale of 1 to 10, rate your trust level for each of your family members. Try also to rate their trust on you. Then have a conversation with them. Enjoy!